Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I need help!

Seriously I don't know what to do about Eli's sleep.
Last night he was up more than 5 times.
I get up as much with him as I do with a newborn.
And I have one of those on the way too.

I feel trapped and I am not sure what to do.
But I can't keep up with the current schedule. Regan is working in Pincher Creek so he gets home around 630-7pm each night when he's not on call. And I can't make Regan get up all the time when he has to commute one hour each way (he is TERRIBLE for falling asleep while driving) and being up for on call and he kind of helps with people's lives, so he should sort of be alert. ;)

So I have been staying up to hang out with him. Which means bed time at around 11pm. Then Eli is up 4-6 times a night. And up for the day between 5-630am. I am pregnant and taking dicletin (which makes me more sleepy). I feel like a zombie most days. I just don't know what to do.

I am just at my wit's end. And I don't know what to do. He gets up for unknown reasons. Last night one time cause of a bad dream, twice to go pee, and the three other times who knows. He just keeps showing up in our room. I think part of it is that he is a terrible eater and I think he is hungry so he wakes up with a stomach ache. But his eating isn't getting any better either.

I just don't know how I will survive having a newborn with this current craziness going on.

21 comments:

Jennifer said...

GRAVOL! Ask Reg what the absolute maximum safe dose is, and drug him up...sounds mean, but you need some sleep! Let me know if there's anything I can do - I mean it!

Catherine Dabels said...

Man, honestly, I wish I could help you but I really have no idea what you should do. Because he might need to pee you can't just lock him in there and ignore him while he cries it out. And, he's not my kid so I don't know how much he understands and can be bribed or reasoned with. I am assuming you've tried all the bribing necessary? Like "if you stay in your bed all night except for one peepee then you can have this....?" or something along those lines?

My third kid was bad for getting up early and finally I'd had enough so I moved the other two two floors down to the basement and let the third freak out in the morning at 5 am until he learned that I wasn't coming to get him. He was still in a crib though.

Could you put a dvd/tv combo in his room and have him watch movies in the morning while everyone else slept? What would happen if you locked him in his room? Are you even willing to do that?

I don't know kid. Good luck to you!

Kathleen Boland said...

Is he wide awake and alert or just zombie sleepy like you? It could be anything. Hungry, dreams, growing pains...Meg was bad til 18 mo. I had to cage her in her room. So sorry. A portable dvd player might work too. Or an mp3 player. Teach him to self soothe. Hope this is just another phase but a short one.

whitney said...

What would happen if he slept in Alden room in the bunk? Would he feel safe and not get up so much? Or would he just wake Alden up - maybe try on a weekend!
Have you tried letting him sleep with you? I used to be totally against kids in my bed but both Roman and Finn went through a time when they would wake up super early and not go back to bed - and I was pregnant both times. We took the kid in with us and they eventually grew out of it. I think it lasted around 4 or 5 months. But we all got sleep. Finn actually only stopped a month before Oscar was born.
I am all about whatever I can do at the time to get the sleep I need.

whitney said...

Move to Raymond and they can play at my house while you nap!

Jessica D said...

Get him on a regular schedule. J was really bad for this also. We would give him a bath, read stories cup of warm milk, a song or three. Prayer then we would put him in his room tuck him in and say our good nights lots of hugs. At first we did lock him in his room seems mean but it worked. he would play in his room for a while then he would go to sleep by his self. When we started to potty train him he would start to hide in his room at the same spot. So we started putting a training potty in his room and that worked out great. I don't know how you do things with Eli but this worked for us. Hope that this helps.

Tanya and Colin said...

Hunter was a terrible sleeper until I forced him to get on a schedule and I stuck with it. Being pregnant with Marley gave me the motivation to be really firm with him and me. I always found that the more tired Hunter would get the worse he would sleep. I still have to make sure that he has a bed time snack because if he is hungry he will still wake up. Hunter is a picky eater and I don't fight him on what he eats as long as he is eating healthy. Like if he wants to have a whole mellon for supper; I let him. As he gets older he is getting better at trying stuff so I know over time he will add new things to his diet and for now I feed him what I know he will eat to avoid a hungry boy. You can only do what you can do and work with your situation. When I started working with Hunter to go to bed on time I would let him watch a movie in bed and he would go to sleep to it. After his little body got use to his new bed time then I gradually stopped the bedtime movie. There were even times through the night if he would wake up that I would put the movie on and have him fall back to sleep to it. Most people may think that it breaks all the parenting rules, but it worked and we all got sleep. And then when Marley cam along Hunter would watch a movie in his room in the morning so I could get some extra sleep. You need to just figure out what will work and do it and not worry if it's right or wrong! Good luck!

Abby Metz said...

I just wrote a huge comment, and then accidentally deleted it - grrr!

anyway. . . we have a standard bedtime routine that we use every night (supper, bath, snack - so they're not hungry, family scripture and prayer, brush teeth, use bathroom, individual story, song, prayer, dicuss good and tough parts of the day, hug kiss, lights out)

I make sure that their room is safe and then I close the door and walk away. I've used the door-knob thingies to keep them in their rooms if they keep coming out. If they're crying an hour later, I check to make sure they're okay (sometimes I give them some tylenol if I think they might be in pain from something), put them back in bed, close the door and walk away.

If they wake up in the middle of the night I do the above and if I need to I'll close our bedroom door as well and turn on a fan so I can't hear them (horrible I know, but I'm a much better mom the next day).

I would restrict Eli's fluids after supper and take him to the bathroom right before bed, explaining to him that it's his only time to go. If he just can't make it through the night I'd put a pull-up on him at night (seems like the lesser of 2 evils).

If they're up before 6am, I repeat the above. If they're up after 6am I'll get them a snack and put a movie on for them. If it's after 7am I get up with them.

I also have to be responsible and make sure that I get to bed by 11pm, which is hard to do some nights.

That's what has worked for us!
It's taken some tough love, but I'm truly grateful to have a house of kids who sleep through the night on a regular basis - we're all happier because of it.

Good luck!

Kristin said...

Id say have him sleep with you...But that doesnt always work...not to diminish your story, but that how it is at our house too. Im up 3 times a night, just because Im pregnant and have to go to the bathroom. Kyler usually wakes up once and Parlee waked up 3 times every night. Joel works out of town, and I cant think of a time in forever that I have been to bed before midnight, then every morning starts at 6am for us....SO I can say I really DO understand what your going through!!!

Anonymous said...

Came across your blog through a friend's blog. I would recommend reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth...it will help you get a healthy sleep schedule started and hopefully help you get some much needed sleep! :)

Marie said...

Okay - I wrote a comment, and it was crazy long. I'll just phone you.

Christina said...

Wish I had advice to offer - Eliza still wakes up, but we just let her crawl in bed with us and then she's usually fine. We just have to put up with her kicking in her sleep! Hope it gets better for you soon.

Christy and Brett Bevans said...

I wish I knew what to tell you. But I don't.

I know that they Lethy Library has books on sleep for babies and some of them deal with toddler problems (I read them all with Grace when she was a baby, but ignored the toddler part because it didn't apply at the time).

I does sound like lots of people have given you some good advice though. Hopefully something works.

Christy and Brett Bevans said...

Would he drink pediasure? If you told him it was chocolate milk?
That might fill him up before bed if he would drink it. Although then he might have to go pee.

Maybe try healthy food all day, but bedtime snack just get him to eat whatever he will eat (within reason, lol) just to fill him.

Jaime said...

I don't have any advice, but I really hope things get better for you! Luckily both my boys are good sleepers, but Cache is a terrible eater too, so I feel you in that respect!

Steff said...

Poor you, that really is the worst. Probably time is the best healer for this wound. Hopefully it won't last long.

Susie said...

i be an ipad at 5:30am would cure all problems. ha ha
just a phase remember just a phase

Patti said...

I'm not going to be much help for you. But I do know what you're going through...my son slept like a charm the first month of his life (to the day!). And then it was like a lightbulb went on in his head and he turned into a nightmare sleeper...until he turned about 5 years old. I know! He slept terribly. I don't know why. He just did. We tried everything. And I mean everything. And finally I just got used to being up 5-6 times a night with him. He's 7 now and he still gets up at least once a night if not two. What a kid! My husband was gone alot during that time on business...He'd be gone for two weeks at a time and then home for 2days before heading out again. It was so hard. Sending you big hugs....it's not easy. Wish I had better advice for you.

LindsayB said...

i was going to comment on here and then i didn't know what to say. you know i have been there! i mostly only dealt with it 2 and under and non pregnant.

every time i babysat sweet little eli i never got up past the first night. it didn't change anything when i went in there so i just didn't. i felt kinda mean, but that's what i did with james after a while too. last time eli slept over (was at grandmas i can't remember when?) for a few nights, by the end he didn't even wake up in the night and was in his playpen until 7 or 7:30.

does he go to bed too early? is he burning enough energy through out the day? i think you should try some pediasure like christy said, maybe do it at supper time to prevent potty breaks in the night. once they escape the room it's hard. with james we used to just let him sleep with us but after a while we couldn't handle it so dealing with getting up took some serious effort for awhile. i just quietly walked him back to bed over and over and over without talking or trying to reason with him, maybe i'd stay and cuddle but no talking. (talking is kind of a problem with him, even still) well, eventually it worked! he rarely wakes up in the night. he does have a hard time settling down some nights (up till 9 or 9:30 but he HAS to stay in his room for this) but he makes up for it by sleeping until 9. i'm not bragging, just giving you hope. i don't know if this helped at all, just know that i sympathize deeply for you and sometimes that's all we can do for each other!

The Lowry's said...

That's tough. Yeah, definitely have to sort things out before the new baby comes along. Bryce would wake up and come to our room just because, so we started locking our door. If he really needs us he will knock, but coming to our door at night to find it was locked, after a few nights he just stopped coming. I guess you have to keep on trying different things until you find that magic 'thing' or solution that clicks and just works or solves the problem. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

"Good Night, Sleep Tight" by the Sleep Lady (aka Kim West). The Sleep Lady Shuffle has saved my life. That book is a bible for getting kids sleeping through the night, regardless of age.