Monday, June 21, 2010

Life is Friends

Lucy with two of her bestest friends Anise Wilde and Tessa Smith.
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I just finished a great book. One that I think others should read.
Life is Friends by Jeanne Martinet.

"Most people are open to meeting new people and eager to make friends. Indeed, the pervasiveness of the Internet in our lives - and the staggering popularity of sites like Match.com, Facebook and My Space - shows just how much we hunger for connection. The Internet provides the ultimate pathway to other people. However, the miracle of being able to email (or video chat with) people anywhere in the world often blinds us to the fact that this technology is a means to an end, not the end itself. We now have instant access to an unlimited number of people, but how do we go from sharing our profile with someone to becoming good friends?..... Ironically, as we become more and more involved with communication technology, we seem to be communicating less and less. Out on the street, in the elevator, in the coffee shop, in the check out line at the store - practically everyone has a Bluetooth device in their ear and is talking to someone, but hardly ever the person right in front of them."

I have been thinking about this quite a lot lately. As I drive my babysitters home and they text to someone else while they mildly listen to what I am saying. As I talk to someone on the phone and I can hear they are in a store paying for something and not being fully present with me OR the person in the store. As I feel I need some outside contact with adults and instead of calling someone, I get onto facebook.

This book really encouraged me to take action. I am pretty good at having people into my home. I invite couples for games or food and I hold ladies lunches during the day sometimes. But I think we all need to do more.

She has a chapter on dinner parties and how sad it is that it is less common now to have dinner parties. Or book clubs. OR those kinds of events. Now I know quite a few people who do go to book clubs. But I know a lot more people who see the internet as their only connection to others. I think it is interesting to think that the technology we are trying to use to reach out to others for contact is sometimes the thing that is isolating us.

At the end of the book the author says this " The life you build with the people you love is your most important life project - one that sustains you, feeds you. Authentic connection with people is what matters. You can't count on wealth or health; you can count on friendship, whether the friends are your family or not."

Any thoughts on this from you all?

5 comments:

Visible Voice said...

Yeah I totally agree with what that book is saying. I find, especially kids my sisters ages (teeny bops) are so plugged in and would rather be home on the computer or texting someone then just spending time with someone in person. I mean I definitely have depended on the internet in my situation but I crave so much to interact with others...especially those with which I have more things in common with. But I find I'm way more nervous to put myself out there now too. It sounds like a great book. I should add it to my list :)

Alysha said...

what a cute picture!!
the whole actually TALKING to people is becoming obsolete. It's either text or email or facebook. It actually drives me crazy sometimes. I guess if I don't want to be bugged by it I need to make more of an effort...

Emily Busath Murdock said...

I totally agree, and now I want to ready this book!! I find it interesting that I have a "pocket" of friends (from my old ward) who are almost completely unplugged, they aren't on Facebook, don't blog regularly or read others' blogs much at all. They actually go out and do things together. Novel thought.
However, I'm torn because there are so many dear friends that I'm able to keep up with because of Facebook or blogs. So, as much as I'd love to become unplugged, I'd hate to lose those connections. I suppose I could find other ways to stay connected with them, huh! Wasn't that the whole point of your post?!
I had another blog up and read this from that blogger:
"I think that way too often I’m only halfway tuned in to what’s going on around me. While I love keeping up with everyone’s blogs & tweets, I’m beginning to wonder what I’m missing with my head stuck in the computer all of the time. I have so little time with my kids & husband, perhaps I need to do a better job of being present where I am, rather than being halfway here & halfway…somewhere else. "
Maybe the trend will become that people will start to miss human interaction and be less plugged in. I'm setting new goals for myself!!
(sorry for the BOOK-LONG comment...)

Amy said...

Awww, Lucy and her buddies. Pure joy on her face, so cute!
So, like I said on Regan's similar post, I'm thankful for blogging and Facebook. I agree a tiny bit with what you're saying, but I know in my case, the internet connections I have are in no way replacing my contact with the outside world. Instead they enhance it. Even with you my friend, I feel more confidant calling you up or chatting with you outside the school because, through your Fbook profile and blog, I know more about you and can strike up easy conversation with you. I could go on and on in defense of using the internet wisely, moderation in all things.

Marie said...

Oh, how I love that picture! Those are some happy looking girls!

That sounds like a really interesting book. I'm going to check to see if the library has it.