Monday, March 30, 2009

Confession time

Lately I feel like I just can't pull myself together.

I hold myself to pretty high expectations sometimes. In quite a few areas.
And sometimes I really miss the mark and I am left worrying and frustrated with not getting as much done as I think I should be.

Some things that should be getting done haven't been.
And some things that don't HAVE to be done, have been.
But lots of things I WANT to be done aren't done at all.

As much as I want the attitude "it's okay, I'll try again tomorrow and do better" that doesn't come so naturally to me. I'm more of the "should have, could have but didn't, oh why didn't I" kinda gal.

So if I haven't gotten around to a few things I was supposed to do for you, please accept my apologizes. I seem to have a million things on the go currently.

And yet I am only thinking about finding a house and moving. I found a house, but someone else bought it. So in two weeks at Easter, we'll go down (reg will be DONE med school by then (CRAZY!)) and try and find a house.

I want to find a house we love. And I don't want to be crammed into a small place. I'm not expecting my dream house at all. But I want to get somewhere that all of us can fit comfortably for 2 years. With a kitchen I love. Since it's true what Lindsay says that I live in the kitchen.

I don't ever want to be a demanding wife. You know those marriages where the wife wears the pants (you all know someone, and if you don't YOU'RE probably it ;) ) or where the husband totally does. With me and Reg we try and get a healthy balance where we both have a leg in. I try to not push what I want onto my husband. But I don't want to be my mom, who has done without LOTS of things cause she didn't want to nag or sound demanding. Another area where I lack I guess.

Man I guess this is all confession time eh?

On that note, I have two bags of fuzzy peaches, a pack of rolo's and one fruit and nut chocolate bar hiding in my underwear drawer. :)


Anonymous said...

Oh Rhonda,
Fuzzy Peaches are gross...ha ha.
We all feel that way! Every day.
Do I do enough? Was it good enough?
What did I get done, what didn't I...the list goes on.
Enough. Today is today. Live it well. You are a good, kind, loving person. That's all that matters.
Make a list of to do's and be realistic. Time line of when has to be done. And do your best.
We love you. -KB

MonaS! said...

You are a wonderful woman, good mom and loving wife. Don't put so much pressure on yourself - you're amazing and we all know it! Regan and your kids do too.

Jessie said...

Oh don't be so hard on yourself! And if your interested there are quite a few houses for sale in our Crescent right now!!

Susie said...

oh man I'm gonna have to hide some snacks awaym right now our kitchen literally closes at 8:00 when Sadie goes to bed there. eek Yah were like WT in New York. Hope you find a house you love. As longs as there are a few things you LOVE about it (I"m sure there will always be things you'd change too)

Carmen said...

Kitchens and baths sell a house. If you like those two rooms, then everything else can be tolerated! That is my philosophy. I too live in the kitchen. But in this house, I also live in my master bath - it has a huge corner soaker/jet tub. It's like a swimming pool. Heaven. Truly. I am going to give you some house huting advice - stick to your guns! If you want a good kitchen, then make sure you have a good kitchen! Don't compromise. Paint can be changed. Flooring can be changed. Doors/cupboards can be changed. Hardware can be changed. But the size/layout/function of the kitchen cannot be changed. Unless of course you are willing to totally remodel... Then that is a whole different ball game. But by the sounds of it, you aren't... Good luck.

Amy said...

The paragraph about getting it all done is so me right now, I'll just copy and paste it as my blog entry for the day, JK. I seriously giggled out loud at "You know those marriages where the wife wears the pants (you all know someone, and if you don't YOU'RE probably it ;) )". I think Aubey and I are pretty even too, so nice. We take turns wearing the pants.

LindsayB said...

i'll take a few of those rolos. i'm so bummed you guys didn't get that house. i was totally feeling it for you guys. but something else and most likely better will come along. sometimes life is just overwhelming and you don't know where to start, so you just don't. but tomorrow is another day. and rolos among other things do help out.

Let the party begin... said...

Everything happens for a reason...trite but true, lol! I love having secret stashes, somehow they always comfort you. I hope you find a house with a sweet kitchen to start this next phase of your incredible adventure.

The Blakeney's said...

i'll bring my hidden ice cream bars (not in my underwear drawer) and we'll just sit and have a confession day!! sound good?!

Crystal said...

Enjoy those treats - and go easy on yourself! You have 3 little ones, a med student husband - and you are human!!! Take care - smile - enjoy each day.

P.S. I think your Mom and I might be more than a little alike :)

Kristi said...

What can I say?? I feel the same way and it's debilitating. Is that how you spell that? I'm off to go worry about my spelling issues now! And to get me some rolos! Totally craving those...I wonder if they exist up here?

Heather M. said...

thinking of you! you are such an awesome woman and friend!

good luck with the house hunting!

we need to get together soon! i miss you!