Tuesday, August 07, 2007
I made this page a couple years ago.... but I still feel exactaly the same. This is what I wrote on it.
"I realized something today. I'm starting to forget. To forget the way your hair hung around your face. How light your freckles were getting as you got older. The blueness of your eyes. It's fading. I wanted to smell vanilla. The smell of you. To see if it would bring memories back. The every day memories that keep you around me.
I saw someone and she made me think of you. I'm not sure why. She didn't look like you. She didn't talk like you. I can't place my finger on why she made me think of you. Is that evidence that those every day moments are slipping away? I wish I could freeze them. The memories. The heart to hearts and late night talks. Me and you. Our bond. Something I've looked for in relationships ever since you died. How I judge others. Every thing is compared to you. Replaying things in my head. But between those replayed memories, the spaces are getting bigger. It's only been five years. But those spaces are growing and that scares me. I want to keep you. If you can't be in my life, I want you still in my head. In my heart. To be able to call up memories in a second. And remember distinctly what you wore and how you said it. How you had your hair. God saw it fit to take you home. And I have come to accept that. But even though your not here, I still need you. "
I just wanted to make a little post today because 7 years ago today Kelly died.
This post really hit home with me yesterday. Melissa wrote it very well. Loss over time.
My sister Kelly.
Miss her daily.
Thought I would share some of Kelly's amazing art.
These aren't the best photos of them.
She did this one for me. Since Nelson Mandella is one of my heros.
I have the original. And i LOVE it.
This is an 8 foot tall chalk pastel that hangs in my parents bedroom.
A unfinished picture she was working on when she died. She was looking at a picture I had taken a few months earlier of one of our nieces.
This was a picture Kelly would draw for people she loved when they got married. She didn't get mine finished cause she passed away weeks before my wedding. But I luckily was given an original from someone else that she had done.
We have an art scholarship in her name at our high school.
We sell her art and I really like that she lives on with her art in people's homes all over.
Some very special people have some of her art.
She would think that was the coolest thing.
Me and my mom agree.