Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Motherhood

I don't know about you but sometimes I get distracted. I get side tracked and forget about what's most important. Two nights ago I was tired. (Which by the way seems most of the time lately. I really at some point need to start getting more sleep or accept that at this stage in life I am just going to be tired all the time and learn to deal with it better.) ANYWAYS, I was tired from planting that garden and from a terrible nights sleep and just mothering.

I needed a few minutes to myself. I could feel that I was being crabby and not because of anything. Just anything. So my wonderful husband told me to go take a shower (I chose a bath) and he took care of things. I had a really hot bath and enjoyed just being in quiet and still.

After I was still tired - maybe cause my bath was SO hot. And I was still feeling a tad bit grouchy. It was time to put Oliver to bed, so I took him into his room and sat down to feed him. It was a great. It was quiet and peaceful. And as I was sitting there in the dark with just Oliver, I had a small thought come into my head. That this is the reason I am here. That all those silly things, like the ipod game I was playing while I nursed Oliver or the blog I want to read once they are finally in bed or the painting project in my garage half done. All of those are fun and lovely. But my kids are what I am about. It was a little whisper of the Holy Ghost tapping my heart, reminding me of what's important.

Made me think of this quote.

After those brief moments alone and a little bit of heavenly help I was ready for all the work of bedtime. And I was happier to do it. We laughed together and sang a few songs and did scriptures and testimonies and did all of it happily.

I've been thinking a lot lately about being a mom. And moments like this remind me of the importance of it. I know I want lots of things. I want to be lots of things. And somedays I feel like I have things bursting out of me to create or read or make. Of course I want to be a good mom. Doesn't every mother (and father) want to be good at it? I think so. But often I need reminding that this is what I am about. I am lucky enough to get to do some "nice to do" things as Julie B Beck called them. But the "essential" and the "necessary" things come first. (Go read that talk. It's amazing!)


The older I get the more I am realizing that each of us do it differently. And that that is the point. We are SUPPOSED to do it differently. I firmly believe that God chose the special spirits that came to my home suited perfectly for Regan and I. And that He did that for every other family. That knowledge should give me power. It should give me strength in what I am doing. Never mind what anyone else is doing.

I have attended some parenting classes in our town. And I have very mixed feelings about them. There are things I strongly disagree with and things I whole heartily accept. I could say a whole lot about it. But it's not necessary.

Above all my greatest problem with the classes is the feeling that is taught is that they know the RIGHT way to parent and that no other way is right. No matter what parenting style there is no cookie cutter mold for all children. I know I am not alone in thinking this. (In fact I had a talk TODAY with two different women who shared this exact feeling. And I could make a list of other women who feel the same.)

I collect parenting books. Like I've read a LOT of them. Some of them made me laugh at their ideas and some made me angry what they claimed and some I read and thought well that was a waste of time. But I think in every single book I have taken at least ONE thing and applied it to myself. Or at least tried. There are good nuggets in them. Even though every single one shares a different way to parent.

Above all I think these three things.
1. As long as I am prayerful and follow the answers and inspiration I receive for my OWN family I am doing what I should.
2. It doesn't matter how anyone else parents, it matters how I parent.
3. If I am overwhelmed with a child and a problem, first consult the Lord & my spouse, then look for outside help if I need it.

I am so lucky to have my children. They are fun, crazy, creative, smart, frustrating, happy, sometimes disobedient, encouraging, maddening, hilarious, talkative, affectionate little people who are growing up so fast. And I am so happy they are mine.

17 comments:

Scott and Tisha said...

Thank you for your blog- for taking the time to share your thoughts and incite, I needed to read this. A lot of times as Mothers we are going through similar things and yet can feel alone in our own situation, I love your three thoughts at the bottom,Thanks again!

Chelsea Belle said...

GOnna be sharing this for sure!
Amen? Amen!
Loved the part about bursting with creative things you want to do, it's hard finding balance ... I forget that raising my kids is in fact a creative endeavor, the product is just a lot longer in "conpletion".
You can put me on the list if those leery about this is the right way parenting. I always feel better about what I'm doing in my family when I've first "obtained my errand from the lord"

Thanks Rhonda. Reading your blog is one of my favorite "nice to do"s.

LindsayB said...

this is so good and all so true. i agree with all you said. i like that we all parent different/same and it is ok that we do. we are so blessed to have these children and deep down we all just want to do it right which is quite the task some days!

Stewart and Clarissa Foss said...

Yet some more wonderful insight. Thanks Rhonda.

Jennifer said...

THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU! I'm sitting here, bleary eyed,exhausted from lack of sleep (completely my own fault entirely), and yes, grumpy - and it's not even 10am! So thank-you for the fantastic reminder about what is really important. It's going to help get me through today - and I'm sure others as well. What a blessing friends are!

Tisha said...

So beautifully said! Thank you!

Heather M. said...

this is awesome, rhonda. love your words and seeing this part of your heart. thank you for the reminders today.

Christal said...

AMEN AMEN AND AMEN LOVE this post!!! your thoughts inspiration and the reminder that we are all different that its okay and that it is hard tiring and exhausting! love ya!!!

Marie said...

Loved it and love you.

Tyler and Kristin Smith said...

I didn't really like this post.

JUST KIDDING!!!

Hit the nail right on the head if you ask me. (Aren't you asking me?)
We're all different and we're SUPPOSED to be different. Our families/parenting shouldn't all be the same. Love those children and they'll love you.
Most importantly, live worthily to have the Spirit with you. We should all be fine.

I think you should write a book.
I'd read it. (and look at the pictures because there would HAVE to be pictures!)

Susie said...

so very true. a quick good read for me, all I have time for right now. All I really want is to be the best mom I can be at the end of the day and if I'm not well I guess I'll wake up and try again tomorrow. love ya.
Sometimes I'd just like to run away with my kids so I could have no distractions and I could just be...

Mike and Jodi said...

Loved the read. And loved the first quote.

Jennifer Isackson said...

Thank you Rhonda for putting into words what I was feeling!

Christy and Brett Bevans said...

I find it so easy to compare myself to others and wonder how they do it all. But this is a good reminder. There is no right way to parent.

I will need to come back and rad this after baby #3 is born and life is crazier around here!!!!

The Lowry's said...

Fabulous post! All of what you said rang true.

stacy said...

Magnificently said Rhonda! It is nice to be reminded just why we are here and how capable we are as mothers. We are the true experts in our homes - thanks for bringing that to light, I so needed it. You're awesome.

Brooke said...

I agree, we all do it differently and we all should because we have different kids that need different things. Sometimes I struggle that I enjoy working so I feel guilty because I'm not at home and worry I'm missing too much and each fun little stage.