Wednesday, March 21, 2007
I've been thinking lately about being a mom.
I know that it is one of the things that God has planned in this life, as a vital experience. Yes, not all people get to experience (half of the population can't for biological reasons) but for women. It changes you.
And I think most women want to be a mom. It is a part of being a woman.
Something you really can't *get* until you are right up to your armpits in it.
It's one of those have to live-through-it-to-get-it experiences.
I've been thinking about how different and the same our experiences as mom's are.
We all love our kids. It is part of it.
If we are strict about bedtime, or let them stay up.
If we feed them McDonald's four times a week or never let them eat processed foods.
We love our kids.Something I think we forget about each other as women.
Even if someone else does it different that you, as much as you love your child, they love theirs that much too.
That's what makes us moms.
But even in all the love, we don't know what we are doing.
There are no manuals. No text books.
I remember reading a book about toddlers when Alden was 2. It said that two year old's don't have long attention spans, they run around and are loud and that they are going to say no all the time.
Well my kid didn't. He had an amazingly long attention span.
He would play quietly by himself in his room.
And he didn't really say much at all.
After I read the first chapter I phoned my mom and told her that the book wasn't like my kid at all. He isn't a cookie cutter kid.
But you know what. No kid is a cookie cutter kid.
Every child is different.
And that is where the beauty in God's plan to have mom's comes in.
Not long ago I was listening to some mom's talk about their kids. One was expressing concern over putting her child into preschool and which one.
Another mom, intently listening, gave some advice that has been on my mind.
She told of her own experience with her oldest child, and how she had thought something needed to be checked. A little nagging feeling that she had about his school and how he was handling it. So she went in to the school and the teacher brushed her feelings aside and told her that everything was fine. A while later, a long while later, she realized that her feeling had been right. And she marched into that school, took her child and enrolled him in a school that would take her concerns and thoughts seriously. She said to always trust your instincts. As a mom. You know. No one knows your kids better than you. And no one will fight for them as hard as you will.
And I've thought about that. A lot.
It's interesting that mom's have guilt built right in.
We are so concerned about how we are doing and what and if it is too much or not enough. And at the same time we have to have confidence in ourselves.
And in our feelings and promptings. God made it that way.
Isn't that interesting.
And doesn't it give you hope.
That some how you will figure it out.
This mothering thing.