Wednesday, March 21, 2007

motherhood


I've been thinking lately about being a mom.
I know that it is one of the things that God has planned in this life, as a vital experience. Yes, not all people get to experience (half of the population can't for biological reasons) but for women. It changes you.
And I think most women want to be a mom. It is a part of being a woman.
Something you really can't *get* until you are right up to your armpits in it.
It's one of those have to live-through-it-to-get-it experiences.

I've been thinking about how different and the same our experiences as mom's are.
We all love our kids. It is part of it.
If we are strict about bedtime, or let them stay up.
If we feed them McDonald's four times a week or never let them eat processed foods.
We love our kids.Something I think we forget about each other as women.
Even if someone else does it different that you, as much as you love your child, they love theirs that much too.
That's what makes us moms.

But even in all the love, we don't know what we are doing.
There are no manuals. No text books.
I remember reading a book about toddlers when Alden was 2. It said that two year old's don't have long attention spans, they run around and are loud and that they are going to say no all the time.
Well my kid didn't. He had an amazingly long attention span.
He would play quietly by himself in his room.
And he didn't really say much at all.
After I read the first chapter I phoned my mom and told her that the book wasn't like my kid at all. He isn't a cookie cutter kid.

But you know what. No kid is a cookie cutter kid.
Every child is different.
And that is where the beauty in God's plan to have mom's comes in.

Not long ago I was listening to some mom's talk about their kids. One was expressing concern over putting her child into preschool and which one.
Another mom, intently listening, gave some advice that has been on my mind.
She told of her own experience with her oldest child, and how she had thought something needed to be checked. A little nagging feeling that she had about his school and how he was handling it. So she went in to the school and the teacher brushed her feelings aside and told her that everything was fine. A while later, a long while later, she realized that her feeling had been right. And she marched into that school, took her child and enrolled him in a school that would take her concerns and thoughts seriously. She said to always trust your instincts. As a mom. You know. No one knows your kids better than you. And no one will fight for them as hard as you will.

And I've thought about that. A lot.

It's interesting that mom's have guilt built right in.
We are so concerned about how we are doing and what and if it is too much or not enough. And at the same time we have to have confidence in ourselves.
And in our feelings and promptings. God made it that way.
Isn't that interesting.
And doesn't it give you hope.
That some how you will figure it out.
This mothering thing.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you Rhonda. I never felt, growing up, that I was supposed to be a mom. I could never see it. I am not particularly patient or nurturing... I am very strict and quite mean at times. But when Ethan was born, it all changed. My entire outlook on life. On WHY I was here. On WHAT I was meant to do in life. I was meant to be Ethan's mama and then Bella. I adore these kids. They are amazing. More intelligent and more curious than I ever was or ever will be! Miracles. Both of them. My priviledge to have them in my life.

Carmen

LindsayB said...

Now that I have Alli I have learned, we will never love our parents as much as they love us, but now we know how much they love us because that is how much we love our kids.
It's always good to reflect on being a mom and give yourself a pick-me-up on what a good job you are doing.

MonaS! said...

That's great Rhonda! Until I had my own kids I figured I knew EXACTLY how to be a parent. And then I had my two. And then I found that I love my two little beings more than I thought was humanly possible. It is an honour and a priviledge to be given the name "mom"

Melissa said...

Great post, Rhonda!! I cant wait to join the "experience"! I bet that it will be nothing like I am expecting, and more!

Dyane Higgin said...

I think being a mom is so much fun! Theres ups and downs but holy smokes are kids funny! I can't even imagine my life without the girls.
And you-Rhonda have been an example for me. I don't think I'll ever make donuts but I do bake more than ever. Thanks! (And the fam thanks you too!)

-Dyane

Crystal said...

What good thoughts to have and reflect on, Rhonda! I know you are an amazing Mom and I think those you touch with your friendship are blessed to have you as a model. Parenting is so much more than I ever imagined - more love, more fun, more responsibility, more worry, more phone calls - but it has definitely made my life richer, and developed so many gifts that I might not have realized I had.

If you love being a Mom, just wait until "grandmotherhood" comes along! Life is good!

The Blakeney's said...

rhonda,
that picture with you and your kiddies is the cutest! i can't wait until i get my new camera so i can capture some of life's sweetest moments!
thanks for your awesome postings. i love reading them!

patti said...

so so true Rhonda. SO often I feel so uncapable as a parent and how my kids constantly through me for a loop. But they are healthy and thriving and intelligent.. We must be doing something right everyonce and a while. Thank you for this encouraging message!!